Have a vagina? Want to use it? Go to Naples.
Updated: Jul 26, 2018
If you are a single woman who loves men, motorcycles, and music, go to Napoli, Italy. Not only is it one of the most beautiful and magical cities on this planet, not only is it on the most stunning part of the Mediterranean, not only is it the best pizza and pasta in the world, not only is it way cheaper and sexier than Rome, Milano or Florence, not only is it a short train rain or motorcycle ride to Vesuvius, Pompei, the Amalfi Coast, Rome, and a million other things you must see before you die- the big secret about Napoli that none of the guidebooks mention is-
There are about 10 single men for every single woman.
And they are all beautiful. And they all know how to cook. And they all know how to sing. And they all know how to kiss you. And they all want to kiss you.
Napoli gets a bad rap because of graffiti and Gomorrah (the film), but I have been living here off and on for almost 5 years and I have NEVER once felt unsafe.
Sure, the scugnizzi like to throw water on you when you’re wearing a white shirt, but just kick their ass in soccer once and you’ll become their best friend. If you decide to come to Napoli, write to me and I will help you create a kickass itinerary, take you around the city myself, or have one of my beautiful and magical Neapolitan friends do it. To discover the magic of Napoli, you only need to know the right people. You know me. And I know people.
Where To Stay: HERE at my best friend’s B and B. This was the first place I stayed in Napoli and I still consider it the best! He owns 5 B and B’s in Napoli, so he will definitely be able to find you a room in one of his beautiful properties.
What To Wear: My friend Simona will tailor an outfit to your sexy body that will stop traffic. She also throws the best parties in town.
Where To Eat: Pescheria Mattiucci, O’ Scugnizzo or Tandem are just three of the many awesome restaurants in Napoli and my favorite writing spots. My friends here will take good care of you. Also my favorite new bar and restaurant is the super sexy Donna Romita in the historic center. Hot owners + hot customers= hot MBOs for YOU.
Where To Hang Out: Piazza Bellini. Everyone begins their evening here with Aperitivo. And many end their evening here with MBOs in an alleyway.
Where To Learn Italian: Centro Italiano. They have classes for all levels and organize daily parties and outings in the city, so making new friends will be no problem for you.
When To Go: Now.
Tomorrow your genitals could turn to dust.
MBO=Mind Blowing Orgasm
NAPOLI DOES IT BETTER!